Emails that make me smile ;)

This came from my friend Jan, and its very funny - a German with a sense of humour (?surprising) - and very autocratic (?not surprising).  I know he's only this brave because he's on the other side of the world!  He writes:

Hi Honey,

thanks for comforting us on the phone;-)) This is really the way it should be, you get the diagnosis, we need to be comforted.

As said, whenever you feel the wish to talk, please SMS and I call you. This way we can also cover your nightly hours so you have 24h coverage.

R CHOP 14 is the name of your therapy and it is good high standard (R for MabThera CHOP for the chemo 14 for the planned interval of cycles). You will also receive something to handle leucopenia (drop in white blood cells). This might lead to some discomfort in the bones. This is not the disease!!! This is -if it occurs- GOOD. If it doen´t occur, still even better. So don´t wait for discomfort. It will work either way. You will have tons of good days and some bad days. Bad days ( if any) will most likely not occur directly after therapy but a couple days later. On anticipated possible bad days, please be prepared to receive random control calls to assure you´re still being compliant;-)) If you are not, I will personally come down there and give you a really hard time! I know, where you hide your keys.

You need to promise me, that you will discuss with Dr Harris, what your responsibilities are during therapy. It might be important , that you measure your temperature daily. Discuss, when you need to see her in between regular visits. Keep a diary with symptoms you are having after start of therapy and when they set in.

You need to write down all questions you are having throughout the course of this all and start today. Most people don´t do so and therefore have no questions when seeing there doc.

DON`T be a hero. All side effect you might have, can be treated.

Make deals with Glenn. He needs to keep an eye on you that you eat and drink even though you don´t feel like it. Buy him a whip so he doesn´t need to argue with you, which he cannot win. Lock away your rifle, so he does not need to worry about using his new whip.
If you need translation from specialist into lay language insist on it until you understand. If you don´t understand, call me.

Don´t argue with Dr. Harris. She is always right and you are never right. Doesn´t matter what the topic.

Don´t argue with Glenn. See above.

If you need to argue, talk to your left hand.

You are allowed to sit in front of the TV during daytime. You are not allowed to lay in bed and watch TV in the daytime. Sit, don´t lay.

@Glenn: Please give me a call, when Michele is not obeying. You might need to write down your own questions and observations. Always know the current state of therapy and blood status. Always know how Michele is feeling. If you screw up, I will find someone who gives you a hard time (I could handle Michele on my own, but guess I need help with you;-)

If in any doubt´s call Dr. Harris. If not available, call me.
We are all thinking of you and are loving you!!!
Love, Katrin and Jan

Thompson and Grefer Family at Dee Why Beach - Christmas 2009

Michele and Jan